just thoughts

i am truly happy for my friends. im happy that she finally gets to be happy, after all that she's been through. am i selfish to think about myself after hearing the news? im the last one standing, all my friends have persons. and myself? maybe im not stuck to my old person, but there's no one left. sure, its not the most important thing in the world, but in search of finding myself again, and getting back family in exchange, why does it feel like im still empty, and still not looking forward to anything anymore. does that mean in exchange of slight clarity i must lose hope of excitement in my life? idk what i actually want to say. but thats that. maybe this will be enough for now.